Why was it band 9?

Flow chart essay : The chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling.

The flow chart shows how waste paper is recycled. It is clear that there are six distinct stages in this process, from the initial collection of waste paper to the eventual production of usable paper.

At the first stage in the paper recycling process, waste paper is collected either from paper banks, where members of the public leave their used paper, or directly from businesses. This paper is then sorted by hand and separated according to its grade, with any paper that is not suitable for recycling being removed. Next, the graded paper is transported to a paper mill.

Stages four and five of the process both involve cleaning. The paper is cleaned and pulped, and foreign objects such as staples are taken out. Following this, all remnants of ink and glue are removed from the paper at the de-inking stage. Finally, the pulp can be processed in a paper making machine, which makes the end product: usable paper.
(160 words, band 9)

Vocabulary

·    there are six distinct stages

·    from the initial collection... to the eventual production

·    members of the public

·    directly from businesses

·    separated according to its grade

·    Stages four and five both involve cleaning

·    foreign objects are taken out

·    remnants of ink and glue

·    the end product

Grammar

·    six distinct stages, from... to... (good use of 'from-to' after comma)

·    where members of the public... (inclusion of extra information between commas)

·    This paper (use of 'this' to refer back to an idea in the previous sentence)

·    with any paper... being (use of with + ing to add extra information)

·    cleaned, pulped, taken out, removed (use of passive verb forms instead of nouns shown on the diagram)

·    which makes the end product (use of relative pronoun 'which' to connect ideas)

Note: The best way to get a high grammar score is to reduce the number of mistakes that you make, not to use 'difficult' structures.

Diagram : Carbon cycle

The diagram below illustrates the carbon cycle in nature.
Write a 150-word description of this diagram for a university lecturer.

The diagram describes the cycle of carbon dioxide creation.

In general, this process experiences  a series of steps with the input of sunlight and the disposal of emissions from the factory.

To specify, photosynthesis is partly the result of the  interaction of sunlight, carbon dioxide, decay organism and other unmentioned factors, followed by organic carbon. 

In the following step, while the respiration of animals and plants contributes to the production of carbon dioxide, part of decaying matters from both of them like dead organisms and waste products is deeply buried in the ground and gradually transforms into fossil and fossil fuels after a long time. In addition, the formation of carbon dioxide comes from the respiration of root and emission of auto and factory. 

Strikingly, only by the presence of various factors from animals, plants and factories is carbon dioxide born which again plays a part in photosynthesis process and benefits the survival of beings on the planet.

Diagram : water cycle

The diagram below shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth.

The diagram illustrates the natural water cycle as a result of continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the earth.

In general, the process undergoes a series of steps with the evaporation of water from the ocean and absorption of water into the Earth layer.

To specify, in the first step, ocean contributes 80% of total water vapor in air. With sun light shining, water from the ocean vapors and condenses into cloud. Subsequently, as result of cloud formation, rain falls into lakes, mountains while snow, because of sun light, melts into water that goes into the Earth layer. Besides, part of ground water comes from trees' evaporation.  Such water from snow, rainfall from clouds, lakes and trees touches the earth layer and gradually reaches the underground level after a long time of absorption. Then, this water flows back into the ocean again, and then the water cycle repeats itself.

Strikingly, only by dint of the contribution from different natural sources can water be formed.

 

Diagram : central heating system

The diagram below shows how a central heating system in a house works.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows the operation and structure of a central heating system in households.

In general, the system contains several pieces of equipment well-connected with each other through the support of wires.

On the top of the house contains a pipe through which cold water gets in. Besides, an overflow pipe is used to connect a water tank to fill storage tank with a storage tank. As can be seen, part of the storage tank wire is attached to hot water to taps while another part is linked to a device called a boiler for gas or oil.  

A small machine named pump is also designed and stuck to the boiler, but another wire connected with the boiler goes through a series of systems like hot water radiators. Furthermore, small tubes are constructed to transmit water while hot water radiators are built to release hot water in the system. 

Strikingly, only by dint of an endless and closed connection between devices can the system work smoothly and effectively to serve households.